In my dreams ….”Astrologers predict India win in second Test”

In my dreams ………

My dreams are not letting me sleep peacefully. Now that the India vs England test series is getting interesting after India’s surprising loss the first Test. Loss was  as  unpredictable as a win in  the series in Australia. 
We are all now worried about what will happen next. So (in my dreams ) I called and took appointment of a famous sports astrologer (now a days there is a special branch at YYM Bumritallya of Sports astrology …I hope you are aware) and asked him what next….he was quite sure what will happen in second Test, taking into account the performance of stars (in the sky and not in the team)
He predicted……
Rohit Sharma will play very well  and score 120 plus in the first innings as light from  moon will turn red color ball  into white ball when he plays the ball. In the second innings sun will obstruct the moon and the ball will look red to him again giving him torrid time facing Archer ultimately losing his wicket early. 
Rahane will be retained in second test as Rahu and Ketu are fighting among themselves whether to keep him or drop him…he will fail again in first innings by a beauty from Archer as Vakradrushti of shani is still looking at his stumps .But in the second innings he will score a quick fire 100 and bring India in winning position as Guru will move into another Rashi and briefly keep him away from Shani.
Pant will not play any bad shot in this match as Rahu will obstruct his bat and stop him from lifting the ball in air but Ketu will make him bat like Pujara . He might score 99 of 300 balls and get out on defensive shot instead of rash shot.
Pujara will not be hit by any ball on his body and will score quite fast , I mean he will score 20 in 90 balls instead of the usual 100 in the first innings as Shukra is giving strength to his strokes. Pujara might score quick-fire 200 ball 50  in second as Mangal will move from third place to eight which will make fielders drop catches.
In the first innings of the second test King Kohli will score  50 but will not get overjoyed as always and jump in air again and again  as Ravi (not the coach Ravi but Ravi the Sun ) will be behind Guru and Guru will be behind the moon which will control his excitement to a great extent. Virat will get injured in second as Bumrah will hit him on his chin in nets as Ketu will come in front of sun and blind him for a second.
Kuldeep will play in team but will not get to bowl any over  as Ishant will take all ten wickets after bowling 7o overs from one end tirelessly and giving away just 245 runs as all stars and planets are in his favour till he plays 100 tests and becomes eligible for full pension from BCCI. Remaining overs will be distributed among other bowlers equally in proportion of their age .
After a lot of struggle India will win the match, as in the second innings injured Kohli will  not be on field due to chin fracture and Rahane will lead the team to one more victory with Virat watching from Pavilion as all the planets  will gather in one Rashi of Ajinkya under supervision of Guru which is a rare condition. 
“Great win !!! ” I shouted in my dream and was exhilarated far more than macho man Virat  would  and got up suddenly with a sigh of relief .
Door bell rang and the newspaper fell in my hand .I immediately turned to the sports page .
The headline said…..
“Top Astrologers had predicted thumping win for India in first Test with Rahane Rohit scoring hundreds”
 Aju Deshpande