Cricket with Mamu Panwala
During my weekly visit to Pan shop yesterday, I had some interesting cricketing debate with Mamu Panwala. It made my tobacco less Poona Masala Pan taste like Kolkatta masala . Conversation went somewhat like this.
Mamu- Aju Bhai Pan Mitha ke Sadha ? (Sweet or simple )
Me- Make it sweet today.
Mamu- Ok. But tell me what is latest on cricket?
Me- Now that IPL is starting, everything including my business will have great time as people will come to eat pan after pan while having a lengthy discussion with me.
Mamu- Yes Aju Bhai. But tell me one quality in a player in India which appeals youngsters.
Me- Player must be a cricketer?
Mamu- That is absolutely true in India that one should be a cricketer but it is not a quality. Tell me a quality in a player which can define him as a great cricketer.
Me- If he is a great batsman with at least five hundred wickets in Test cricket then only he can be called as quality bowler and obviously cricketer .
Mamu- No Aju Bhai. There are many who have taken more than 500 wickets and lethal bowlers. But who cares for bowlers. Cricket is not a bowler’s game at all.
Me- Then it must a player who has taken at least 300 catches, 200 stumpings, one hundred run outs should be called a great cricketer.
Mamu- Ha ha ha. Fielder can’t be a great cricketer at all. He can only be a hardworking man doing thankless job in team who would run, run and run behind ball, dive without fear of getting injured and serve the bowlers and get a few claps from spectators . That’s all, but he can’t be called a great cricketer. He can maximum become a good fielding coach like Jonty Rhodes or Robin Singh.
Me- Then one has to be a batsman who has scored minimum ten thousand plus runs in atleast two formats at international level to be called as a greatest cricketer.
Mamu- There are many who have scored ten thousand plus runs. And now a days any standard, sensible batsman gets past ten thousand, so what’s great in that ! It’s true in cricket, scoring runs get more publicity than taking wickets. And with boundries becoming so short that a batsman can quickly shake hands with audience and come back to wicket . Scoring fifty has become as easy as taking a driving license in India. Perhaps, even Pujara has more number of quicker fifties than Viv Richards has in his career.
Me- Then is it an all rounder who has taken four hundred wickets and scored five thousand plus runs in any one format can be called as a legend cricketer?.
Mamu- No way ! Not at all ! Every one is all rounder now a days. Experts are calling Pandya a better all rounder than Kapil. So all rounders are no more great cricketers, even though they do everything including fielding at third man and chase each and every ball consistently but unsuccessfully .
Me- Mama, you have habit of asking nonsense questions. If batsman, all rounder, fielder or bowlers even after performing so well can’t be called as great cricketers then who can be called? You are sick. Please get your sugar checked. High sugar creates brain malfunctioning.
Mamu- You check your sugar and BP also Aju Bhai. You don’t understand any thing about today’s cricket. You ask any small kid . He will tell you who is considered great as a cricketer.
Me- I know I have high BP and high sugar, but I don’t have money to check all this. After all money is everything in life.
Mamu- And cricket is our life.
Me- What do you mean?
Mamu- If money is everything in life and cricket is life then money is everything in cricket also. It’s simple logic Aju Bhai.
Me- Mamu, your logic is good but what you want to convey please say straight like ageless and timeless Sunil Gavaskar sir speaks while doing commentary tirelessly that too sitting in stadium and not unlike other commentators, who are made to do commentary sitting in India at a much lesser fee.
Mamu- Now please tell me . Who gets highest money in IPL?
Me- Most valuable player gets highest money.
Mamu-Who is most valuable player?
Me- One who is best cricketer.
Mamu- So does class matter in cricket anymore?
Me- Class matters Mamu.
Mamu- Class matters but not of the batting or bowling of a cricketer Aju Bhai. Your knowledge is more outdated than syllabus in Indian Universities.
Me –Then what?
Mamu- The class cricketer is equivalent to class of the car he has . Cricketer having Merc definitely is better batsman than player having Honda City. It’s as simple as that.
Me- Mamu you are on the dot. Give me one more sweet Pan for enlightening me. By the way, I am selling my second hand Maruti-800 2001 model , purchased from a old timer classy, stylish and technically perfect batsman who played for India.
Mamu- Why he sold it to you Aju Bhai.
Me- He had no money to buy a small house in his native place.
Mamu- And why are you selling it now?
Me- I have no money to replay EMI now, with my son going to watch each and every IPL match in a stadium.
Mamu- Take a bank loan Aju Bhai . Selling Maruti won’t buy IPL ticket for sure.
The article above is just a satirical one and does not intend to hurt or damage anybody’s feelings or reputation.