Cricket with Mamu Panwala
During my weekly visit to Pan shop yesterday, I had some interesting cricketing debate with Mamu Panwala. It made my tobacco less Poona Masala Pan taste like Kolkatta masala . Conversation went somewhat like this.
Mamu- Aju Bhai Pan Mitha ke Sadha ? (Sweet or simple )
Me- Make it sweet today.
Mamu- Ok. But tell me what is latest on cricket?
Me- No good news Mamu, except that India took 20 wickets in two tests against South Africa consecutively and that’s world record for India. We should celebrate it, like we celebrate world cup win.
Mamu- Yes Aju Bhai. We have come this far. Though, we lost test series even after taking 20 wickets is no joke, that too inspite of having Ishant Sharma in bowling attack.
Me- Coming back to some interesting stuff. ICC cricket ranking is out and our Virat is no.1 again. But I want to know why ICC ranks only, best batsman, best bowler, best all rounder but not best wicket keeper?
Mamu- Yes, you are right Aju Bhai. But you can suggest , Who according to you is best wicket keeper of all times.
Me- I would love to mention one name and I can vouch every player in the world would agree. Just guess. I can tell you who is all time great wicket keeper and you will appreciate my knowldge.
Mamu- How can I guess?
Me- Just imagine.
Mamu- Is it Allan Knot of England? I remember him taking diving catches between first and second slip also.
Me- No way. Allan knot was good but Rodney Marsh of Australia was better . He took catches of Thompson the fastest bowler of all time. Imagine collecting a ball at 160 plus km per hour. He even had to keep hands in ice bucket after he returned to pavilion. But still according to me he is not best keeper.
Mamu- Then is it Dereck Murray of West Indies?
Me- No. Yar ! Though he was keeping, when four intimidating bowlers were creating havoc for West Indies.
Mamu- Then is it Wasim Bari of Pakistan?, who kept wickets to the spinners like Abdul Qadir and Wasim Akram, Waqar Younis etc. And also that he used to appeal for no catch along with Javed Miandad and still get batsman out with help of loyal Pakistani umpires (who were more terror than terrorists of Pakistan) in non-neutral umpiring era.
Me- Not at all. Wasim was good keeper but he hardly had to take catches, as most of the times Waqar and company used to get batsman out clean bowled or LBW ?
Mamu- Then is it Ian Healy or Mark Boucher?
Me- No way. No No No. They were ok but not that great and as such they hardly played IPL so they are not used to playing with Music and cheer girls and so can’t be considered.
Mamu- Then it must be our great MS Dhoni . Who took good catches and made great stampings as well as lightening run outs. I think he was better than Farookh Engineer, who used to drop many and still show he had not dropped any. MSD was also better than Kirmani Kiran More, Mongia and company who had to keep wickets to our lethal pace bowlers like Madan Lal bowling with 110 km per hour or sometimes 110 km per two hours.
Me- No Mamu. MSD was good, but as a batsman and he never took catches between first slip and second slip, rather he would pretend it his not his catch at all. But he was very clear what was his and what he could not.
Mamu- I am tired of imagining, Aju Bhai. Please enlighten me with your illogical knowledge.
Me- Mamu don’t make fun of my knowledge. Just answer my question or keep quiet.
Mamu- Ok Aju Bhai ! I am speechless, please tell me who is best wicket keeper you have seen till date.
Me- Just try for the last time.
Mamu- It’s not my cup of tea. Any way. Will you have one now , a cutting chay, that too made from Wagh Bakri. The best tea from Gujarath. Just have one. And Aju Bhai now a days even cricketers from Gujarath are shining and are as classy as Wagh Bakri tea. But, any way Aju Bhai, give me a clue. So that I can answer your difficult question, “who is best wicket keeper till date?”.
Me- Mamu. You have just said about cricketers from Gujarath. Their lies a clue.
Mamu- Do you mean apdo Parthiv Bhai Patel?
Me- Yes! Mamu. He is the best keeper in the world today and I can say all time best wicket keeper from India.
Mamu- Oh! How dare you say Mamu. As per one of the expert commentator there is not a test match where he has not dropped a catch . How can we call him best wicket keeper?
Me –Yes . He is best and he will remain best wicket keeper.
Mamu- Ok ! Now justify, how he is best keeper in the world?
Me- Simple! Mamu. Since he drops whenever batsman edges. He misses easy stumpings etc so obviously he is best for opposition team. If you ask all the opposition teams playing against India, whom would you like to have wicket keeper behind the stumps when you are batting, every one would say ‘One and only one. Our great PP.’
Mamu- Aju Bhai. Take one more pan free, sometimes you also talk nonsense sensibly. I am feeling like putting on pads and try out batting provided PP is keeping.
Me- No use . Even after ten dropped catches you won’t break Unda , I mean score a run . So forget and enjoy the next match between India v/s South Africa. Sorry for the grave and unpardonable mistake, it’s not India v/s South Africa but Kohli v/s South Africa third Test.
The article above is just a satirical one and does not intend to hurt or damage anybody’s feelings or reputation.