Cricket with Mamu Panwala
During my weekly visit to Pan shop yesterday, I had some interesting cricketing debate with Mamu Panwala. It made my tobacco less Poona Masala Pan taste like Banarasi masala . It went somewhat like this.
Mamu- Aju Bhai Pan Mitha ke Sadha ? (Sweet or simple )
Me- Make sweet today.
Mamu- Ok. But tell me what is latest on cricket?
Me- There is some good news .
Mamu- What is that? India winning against New Zealand is old, Aju Bhai
Me- No Mama that may be good news for rich cricket fans paying Rs.5000 for T-20 match, but now there is exciting news for poor people, who sit in the east stand and watch Test match as well.
Mamu- What is that?
Me- Just guess.
Mamu- How can I guess?
Me- Just imagine a cricketer supporting poor.
Mamu- We have seen actors supporting poor and underprivileged. We have seen pace bowler like walking and talking Nana Patekar doing something for farmers who were about to commit suicide, Akshay Kumar giving money to soldiers but not seen any of princely pricy cricketers till date, giving off a penny. Though they make larger than life Bollywood stars look like pigmies in terms of cash in the cashless economy.
Me- Mamu there is a surprise for you. I heard recently from genuinely unknown sources that a recently (unfortunately happily ) retired legend cricketer doing something for poor. Can you guess who that foolishly dumb uncultured cricketer, spending money for poor?
Mamu- Is it M.S.Dhoni? He seems to be of good nature and most likely to care for weaker sections of society, he is from the so-called underdeveloped state, I am sure he must be that unwise man who is supporting poorest of poor.
Me- No. Yar! Though MSD is decently filthy rich, people who made a film about him have become super rich and a hero of his biopic Sushant Rajput playing MSD has become ultra rich. But MSD is not helping anyone I suppose. As such he is too busy replying to questions on his retirement so no time for any social work. The cricketer I am talking about is the legend, simple and great. Just guess who is he?
Mamu- Is it Virat Kohli Aju Bhai? He recently refused to advertise for products he did not use, setting a wrongfully right example. He surely must have done something for deserving poor as he looks real star who is down to earth and has a heart which not only beats for his girlfriend but needy citizens of the country.
Me- Not at all. He may be good at heart but not yet so charitable. One fine day he may be a misguided guy supporting poor.
Mamu- Then is it Sachin the GOD? He is really simple, a middle class type who would be worried about poorest of poor. As such, he has reconciled with his old friend Vinod and shown he has a soft heart. Also every now and then there is news about him paying money for adopting some village or helping a school.
Me- Yes he is extremely humble and soft. But his charity is out of the funds he has at his disposal as MP and not out of his pocket. Definitely, he is better than many MPs Of course, he will do something for poor one day, I have confidence in his generosity. Maybe, after he gets one more year with Mumbai Indians as a mentor, so that he can reserve 000.000001 percent of the fees for poor and might be honored for it with some award.
My dear Mamu, you are so good at judging cricketers’ power play but not able to answer my simple question. Just try to imagine. Who could be that player who has scored more than ten thousand runs and is helping downtrodden?
Mamu- Is it Dravid? He looks really well behaved, social, a man of values.
Me- No Mamu. Rahul is really simple, straight man, but he has no time. He is busier than Sachin and more occupied than Ravi Shastri and that too for young cricketers. He will definitely do something for rural and poor families but he should be spared by BCCI for the job. The man I am talking about is different, He is setting the wrong example to some top earning cricketers by donating to cause of poor families. He is really mad and no idea how to monetize the fame even after retirement. Just guess who is that misguided sportsman who is spending poor out of his own pocket?
Mamu- I don’t think any cricketer on this earth is so imprudent to spend money and help poor. Aju Bhai you have got some wrong misleading watsapp type message. Please stop seeing these types of rumors and spread terror among cricketers. There can’t be any cricketer with such impractical mindset. I have no clue at all. Let me know if you know the guy who has scored so many runs, earned big money and has decided to help poor. I don’t think such low IQ cricketer exists. If at all such cricketer is there, it is only in some advertisement and not in real life. No chance that any rich cricketer can make such grave mistake of doing social work and that too for deprived sections of society.
By the way, Aju bhai tell me how is it that every time you talk about going to Australia and end up going to boring Chikkivala Lonavla or low-cost typical Matheran?
Me- Mamu don’t make fun of me and rub salt in my wounds. This time I had improved performance like recent West Indian team. I planned to go to Australia but like every time did not go to Matheran or Lonavla, I dared to spend some money and could somehow land in Srilanka borrowing money through EMI.
Mamu- OOOOOhhhh! Your performance was far improved. But tell me could you meet humble Srilankan greats like Ranatunga, Arvinda, Sangakkara etc. They are all retired and must be living lavish life like our ever-needy wealthy cricketers.
Me- Mamu you answered it. I mean you are very close to telling which cricketer is thoughtless enough to help poor.
Mamu- Whattttt? Do you mean Ranatunga is helping poor? He does not look like an ill-advised fool guy. He looks smarter and thinner with less belly than what he had when he played for Lanka.
Me- Mamu I had mentioned that he is a man who has scored ten thousand plus runs in Tests and is helping poor. If you can’t guess still, then better stop discussing cricket with me.
Mamu- Sangakkara the foooooool! Is it? Hat’s off to this greatest foolishly sick sportsman. But in what way, how is he helping poor?
Me- I had to bowl a foooool toss ultimately to you to get an answer. Yes, it is ‘Sanga’ the supreme fool. He is helping poor by giving home once every month and making a blunder of draining his precious wealth.
Mamu- Really? Foooollll of Century, I think he will become poor soon and might starve himself by donating so much money. Maybe Actor Nana will have to support him later on.
Me – By donating to poor if he is going to starve Mamu, then it is ok I think, than to play too much of cricket , earn too much but have no time to eat food. What Say Mamooooo!!!
The article above is just a satirical one and does not intend to hurt or damage anybody’s feelings or reputation.