CRICKET WITH MAMU PANWALA
During my weekly visit to Pan Shop yesterday, I had some interesting cricketing debate with Mamu Panwala. Unlike all Panwalas, ‘Mamu’ can understand and speak English very well. And he could learn it by listening to Harsha Bhogales, Gavaskars, Manjrekars and Siddus (though unfortunately, he has not been listening to Kapil Paji, Sehwag and company). But Mamu follows strict rule, speaks in English only if the topic is cricket. I enjoy talking to Mamu on cricket a lot. He knows in and out of cricket ( I mean not only ins-wing or out-swing). In fact, whatever English I know is because of Mamu Panwala.
My conversation yesterday with Mamu went somewhat like this….
Mamu– Aju Bhai Pan Mitha ke Sadha ? (Sweet or simple )
Me– Make Sadha only Mamu.
Mamu– Tell me one thing Aju Bahi, I want to write a series of articles on a topic which surely will be famous, could give one million hits on your website within few hours of being uploaded every time.
Me– What will you write Mamu?
Mamu– I will write about how T-20 is hot and Test Cricket is worse.
Me– But why will you write exactly opposite of what you think?.
Mamu– You can guess Aju Bhai.
Me– You will write because you have started loving T-20 after getting bombarded by media that it is good. Is it?
Mamu– No No. You can guess.
Me- Then you will write sweet sweet aspects about T-20 because your wife likes it and she can enjoy it?
Mamu- No, Aju Bhai. There is some special reason why I will write T-20 is the best thing that has happened to cricket.
Me- I don’t understand Mamu. Outwardly looking, intelligent person, like you might like to speak so good about T-20 just because your ten-year-old daughter loves it, as it is full of drama and music in between and she enjoys all the music with loud noise. As such you love your daughter, hence it is not the fault of yours that you will write that T-20 is the best format.
Mamu- No Aju Bhai. My daughter understands cricket as much as I do and she even appreciates the good straight bat strokes by Virat Kohli so that is not the reason.
Me- Then you want to write good about T-20, maybe because your servants at home glued to TV sets when T-20 matches are on and they don’t take leave because they can watch TV in your home on big screen.
Mamu- No Aju Bhai. I won’t promote T-20 just because my servants at home want to watch. Anyway, they will watch TV for some stupid 749th episode of boring TV serial they do not understand. So even if T-20 is not there on it they will be watching it. Just think, there is some very simple reason why I want to write “How T-20 is best for entire cricketing world”.
Me- You want to propagate T-20, as your neighbors’ kids who have disconnected TV due to their studies, come to your house and love watching T-20 as there is lot of fun watching it even if they do not know who is playing whom and what is in swing or which way out swinging ball moves.
Mamu- No, not at all. I am not worried about that. These small kids from neighbor’s house? We do not like them to disturb us, so no question of that. I simply would write a praising article for T-20 for your website for the important and obvious reason. Just try to guess Aju Bhai. Eat this one latest special Pan with different taste and start thinking.
Me– Oh! now my brain is working. Is it because T-20 is the fast and crisp form of cricket, where everything gets over in three hours, just like movie?. I am sure this is the reason for you giving full marks to T-20 and make the article viral on social media so that every Tom Dick and Harry gives a big thumbs up for you and you would be as famous as some great Indian cricket commentator cum writer cum expert cum wizard.
Mamu- No way. I don’t want to become famous by playing vote bank politics catering to masses. I am going to write plus points about T-20 and why it is a more sustainable form of cricket just for one basic reason. Last chance for you to guess.
Me– Mamu, I am not able to guess at all. Why a knowledgeable man like you who knows Test Cricket is best, where the bowler has equal chance, still want to write a big article on the website, promoting T-20 form. Any way. Please let me know how much EMI you are paying for your son’s education abroad as I am also planning to send him abroad before Trump comes up another disruptive policy for Indians.
Mamu- Aju bhai you are very close to answering my question.
Me- How Mamu? What has got EMI to do with your writing article on T-20?
Mamu- It is as easy as the first question of KBC, for which nobody needs the lifeline. I have to pay EMI of Rs.20,000 Per month and if I write good series of praise blogs on T-20 you will have to pay me 25,000 per month, which is far less than a current market rate, just for promoting T-20 cricket. Now if I write well about Test Cricket how will my son study abroad. Is it making sense to you Aju Bhai?
Me- Mamu you are ultimate. Now I know why many big sports journalist’s kids are studying abroad and I am struggling to pay my son’s fees even in India.
Mamu- Aju Bhai I am a born Panwala and ultimately would think like a businessman, though my heart is with Test Cricket. Kyu Panga lena T-20 se ? ( Why to criticize T-20 unnecessarily?)
Me- Yessss Mama. Inner edge boundary or outer edge sixer, anything over the rope is an entertainer , whoever wherever whatever however T-20 is the winner. Kya bolta tu….
Above article is satirical and does not intend to insult or damage reputation of any specific individual , person or institution .