Cricket With Mama Panwala—By Aju Deshpande

During my weekly visit to Pan shop yesterday, I had some interesting cricketing debate with Mama Panwala. It made my tobacco less Poona Masala Pan taste like Banarasi masala . It went some what like this….
Mama- Aju Bhai Pan Mitha ke Sadha ? (Sweet or simple )
Me- Make mitha (sweet) only Mama.
Mama- Tell me Aju Bhai why we lost Women’s world cup final?
Me- Why means?? It was game of cricket and that’s it Mama.
Mama- Aju Bhai it’s not so easy. There is a one reason which nobody knows. Just guess!
Me- India lost to England because nobody bowled as good as Jhulan Goswami.
Mama- No Aju Bhai. Almost every bowler bowled good spells and that too of standard of Hardik Pandya if not Jhulan. Guess the exact reason of loss.
Me- May be because Mithali got run out badly.
Mama- No No No. Mithali can not score in every match. And also Poonam Raut compensated for her. Guess, guess! what could be one reason why India lost which is not known to anybody.
Me- May be because our girls played cross batted shots.
Mama- No yar. Nowadays who does not play cross batted cricket except for few players like Rahane and Pujara, that is not the reason, it’s something else. The reason for loss is excitingly sensitive . Just try once more.
Me- It must be that shot played by Dipti Sharma in the air, at that point we lost the last hope.
Mama- What you are talking? Are you fool? Most of the top players play in air only. Have you not seen Rohit Sharma, Chris Gayle and others who are in the air, I mean play in the air all the time . Except for Virat, I think everyone gives high catching practice to fielders most of the times.
Me- It’s difficult to guess Mama, you have some secret information about why we lost such an easy match after scoring 191 for 3 . Please tell me the reason I am eager.
Mama- Just eat this one more special pan and try.
Me- Do you think we lost because Ravi was not coach of women’s team.
Mama- Mad and Outdated you are, Aju Bhai. If Ravi would have been their coach then they would not have scored even 100.
Me- Why?
Mama- They would have come back to Pavilion quickly to be with glamorous Ravi Shastri and learn from him how to be most wanted man he is even after retirement and at age of fifty is still at the top in Indian cricket . Ravi is Hema Malini of Indian Cricket, ever green and ever ready dream boy I mean dream man.
Me- I know Mama. Then one reason I feel which led to loss of India was that the match was fixed.
Mama- You are close to the answer Aju Bhai.
Me- Your pan has worked but not as much. Please let pigeon come out of the hat finally, Mama.
Mama- Aju Bhai, very very simple, as simple as talking about fixing without ever holding a bat in hand or stepping on the ground in entire life. So listen properly. Match was not fixed. I mean it was fixed not to fix a match, so that everyone who think every thing is fixed get fixed .
Me- Mama you said it! Let’s salute Indian women and fix appointment for interview immediately.
Me- Impossible Mama. They are all busy till next world cup,
Mama- Why?
Me- Simple! Every government will felicitate them now and their felicitations will last till next world cup. I am sure.

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