During my weekly visit to Pan shop yesterday, I had some interesting cricketing debate with Mama Panwala. It made my tobacco less Poona Masala Pan taste like Banarasi masala . It went some what like this.
Mama- Aju Bhai Pan Mitha ke Sadha ? (Sweet or simple )
Me- Make mitha (sweet) only Mama. Just tell me Mama, how they must have appointed Ravi as coach inspite of Saurav as selector?
Mama- Aju Bhai, my friend who is friend of Saurav’s Panwala told me that conversation between Ravi and Saurav (SG) was something like this….Do you want to hear?
Mama – Listen …
SG – Hi Ravi how are you?
Ravi- I am fine how is life after retirement?
SG – It’s not nice , I am unable to do what I did when I was playing I am restless and not happy at all.
Ravi- Like what ? Do you mean you are missing your batting?
SG – No yar! Most of the times batting was taken care by Sachin, Dravid, Viru and Lax, so not that.
Ravi – Then what is being missed by you so much Dada? fast Bowling ?
SG – No yar! I hardly bowled to my potential speed of 80 miles per hour . And there were many many fast bowlers including Zaheer and company..
Ravi – Then what? You must be missing your spin Bowling?
SG – No yar, abs not ! Spin was taken care by our penetrative straight spinner, I mean straight person Anil Bhai, who is my dear friend.
Ravi -Your dear friend? Who Anil?
SG – Yes, he was and is still is sweet and has place in my heart , was sidelined for not allowing players to meet their sweethearts. Whatever , but please guess what I am missing nowadays?
Ravi- You must be missing fielding .You were cool and safe effortless fielder, catching everything coming in your hands .
SG – No yar, how could I miss fielding, though I missed a lot while fielding. Fielding was taken care by Yuvraj and company and mind well he used to bent also those days . That is not what I miss, please tell me what I miss now that I loved doing those days .
Ravi- You must be missing your captain’s role.
SG- No man! I don’t miss that, I anyway control captain nowadays. Guess, guess quickly .
Ravi- It must be your shirt removing episode and showing off your sexy hairy chest to millions of fans all over world.
SG- No way Ravi . Though I had more hairy Chest than Anil Kapoor or for that matter more big than big boss Salman Khan, I don’t miss going bare ..
Ravi -You must be missing your girl friend from South whom you ditched for your angry wife.
SG – Na na na. I never had any affair with her, it was media gimmick. Quickly tell me what I am missing
Ravi- Why should I tell you I am not bound by your whims and fancies.
SG – If you want to become coach please tell quickly, otherwise I will appoint Viru as coach.
Ravi- You are under wrong impression SG. I am already appointed as head coach and this is not my interview my interview was taken by Sachin yesterday .
SG- No! No ! No! who told you its all nonsense, no body can decide except me who is going to be coach. Tell me who told you are selected ?
Ravi- Why should I tell you Saurav? You first tell me what you are missing ?
SG – I will not tell, why should I tell what I am missing to CEO of Mr Arrogant and Over smart India Pvt Ltd.
Ravi- You have to answer what I ask, if you want to remain as selector of coach.
SG- What ! Are you threatening me? Do you know what are my powers?
Ravi- Saurav I am not threatening you,I am interviewing you .
SG – Shut up!
Ravi- Yes, I have been asked to take your interview for post of consultant.
SG – Consultant of what?
Ravi- That will be decided by me after consulting consultants incharge .