CRICKET WITH MAMA PANWALA 16.6.17 – By Aju Deshpande

क्रिकेट विथ मामा पानवाला 

During my weekly visit to Pan shop yesterday, I had some interesting cricketing debate with Mama Panwala. It made my tobacco less Poona Masala Pan taste like Banarasi  Masala . It went some what like this….

Mama–  Aju Bhai Pan Mitha ke Sadha ? (Sweet or simple )

Me–  Make mitha (sweet) only Mama.

Mama– Tell me one thing Aju Bahi, why is it that South Africa always looses in major ICC tournaments?

Me– They have some weakness Mama.

Mama– What weakness! They are so huge and they are so sturdy.

Me–  But  they have some weakness.

Mama–  What can be their weak point? , they are so well nourished and look like eating food as such there is no restriction  on what to eat and what not to in their country.  They have good physique as well.

Me- Mama you don’t understand they have some problem.

Mama-   What can be problem Aju Bhai?, if you compare Kohli, Rohit and Pandya, South Africans look so strong as if they are from some other planet.

Me- I know they really look like they are from Jupiter and we Indians from some small drones flying in the sky, but  South Africans have some issue.

Mama- What can be issue? They have such a great team with AB de Villiers as their captain.

Me-  Yes ! Their captain looks far more cool and composed compared to our red faced angry young man and ABD is such a good batsman but they as a team have some lacuna .

Mama–  What is lacuna? My English is as poor as any West Indian super star cricketer’s.

Me- I also heard this word lacuna from some super Indian commentator, actually my English is as bad or rather as good as any Pakistani player. Coming to point, ’lacuna’ is something more than weakness and something less than a problem I suppose.

Mama– What can be South Africa’s lacuna ? They have a fast bowler like Morkel, who can bounce the ball from good length. Can any team loose if  they have a pace bowler like huge and tall Morkel.

Me- No way! But that is their tragedy, they miss something always in crucial matches.

Mama–  They have nothing to miss. They have history of greatest fielders like Jonty Rhodes, how they can miss catches. Any team having such fielders can never surrender. And catches win matches, more on batting pitches.

Me – You are right Mama, they had  Jonty but they are not taking his services , he was busy with more important IPL team and now needs rest.

Mama– Tell me at once! What can be that simple reason that South Africans are frequently loosing in major tournaments.

Me-  It is very simple Mama. You need to take few days break and come back to discuss intense and important cricketing problems like this with me. Now quickly try.  What may be the reason for South Africa’s famously ridiculous choking performance. As such, it’s going to rain heavily now and your shop’s roof is leaking. Let me go before I get wet.

Mama– I surrender. Please tell me a palatable reason why South Africa is losing like this again and again.

Me– I am going now. It has started raining and I don’t want to spoil my new shirt gifted to me by wife for not watching IPL matches and going out with her on sightseeing tour. Water will start dripping from roof of your heritage shop soon.

Mama–  Aju Bhai don’t worry. I have  made my roof totally water proof.

Me- Really ! Mama what did you do to make it waterproof ?

Mama- Simple, I used Dr. Fix it and it worked miraculously.

Me- Don’t tell me.  ’Dr.Fix it’ seems to be quite effective.

Mama- Yes Aju Bhai . ’Fix it’ is buzz word now a days, especially during Champions Trophy season.

Me- You said it !  Mama ! But Please don’t mix it, in my Pan. I want pure Indian Banarasi Masala Pan.

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