During my weekly visit to Pan shop yesterday, I had some interesting cricketing debate with Mama Panwala. It made my tobacco less Poona Masala Pan taste like Banarasi masala . It went some what like this.
Mama- Aju Bhai Pan Mitha or Sadha ? (Sweet or simple )
Me– Make mitha (sweet) only Mama.
Mama– Tell me one thing Aju Bahi, How fit you are? I mean what is fat content in your body? Is it more than Ronaldo or more than Kohli or more than some SriLankan player?
Me- Why you are asking me Mama? I don’t play any game. I only play mobile games.
Mama- I just want to know, as everybody wants to be fitter and fitter nowadays and look hotter and hotter!
Me- Obviously fitness matters . see how fit all our cricketers look!
Mama- Yes ! they look fit but what about you?
Me– Why should I look fit ? I don’t want to play or even become a coach, I am married , so I don’t need to look good. I don’t want to become TV anchor cum commentator also .
Mama– But you must look good when you are taking selfie. You should not look like that fat tummy player from Sri Lanka.
Me– Oh! Who is fat in Lankan team Mama?
Mama– That man who was their match winner in death overs.
Me- Who Arjuna Rantunga?.
Mama- No, he was fat but not as much. And he just appeared to be fat but he was not. He used to run so fast between wickets like our MS Dhoni, how could one call him fat.
Me– Are you talking about Arvind De silva?.
Mama– No . His fat percentage was lesser than many players of India that time. And he had small size wine belly not beer belly.
Me– You mean Dilshan?
Mama- No mama. He was almost as fit as Dhoni and certainly more fit than Rohit Sharma though not as fit as Anushka’s heart throb I mean our cute boy Virat.
Me- Then I am sure you are talking about Murli Dharan. He was quite bulky.
Mama-No way , Murli was extremely fit and fit enough to bowl at least one throw ball in over without getting no balled.
Me- Mama, give some clue please.
Mama- Aju Bhai, that man who called their cricket official ‘monkey’ recently.
Me- I don’t read news papers Mama and I don’t use mobile for reading news, so I don’t get such notifications of sensational news. Give some other clue.
Mama– That man whom Gavaskar called as Potu (big belly) during Champions Trophy .
Me– In current Lankan team all have big belly, as such in hot country like theirs they must be drinking lot of beer. But if Sunny calls someone ‘Potu’ means he must be a double belly man. Give me one last clue and I will tell you the name of Potu.
Mama- Aju Bhai, he is star bowler of IPL and has sexy hair style like South American Football players have. He also flashes a nice charming smile like ‘Baywatch’ fame Hollywood’s hotty and Bollywood’s sweety Priyanka , after getting hit for four in death overs.
Me– Nothing is entering my head Mama, I will have a nice massage and modern hair cut in a unisex saloon and may be then I will be able to think properly. Please suggest me some nice hair style Mama, at least my wife will appreciate my hair if not my fitness. Shall I try Malinga cut ?
Mama- You said it . But hair style is now renamed as ‘Potu cut’ .
A Sportsnasha exclusive